just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
