sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
