I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
