whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
