You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
