i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
