A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
