Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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