It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
