That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
