I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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