Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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