my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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