I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
