Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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