I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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