Will you blow on my dice?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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