I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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