Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
