He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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