Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
