I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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