She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Who died my cat blue again?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
