I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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