Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
