Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
