So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
