Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
