even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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