that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
