Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
