there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
