so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
