it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
