I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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