I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
