READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
