Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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