So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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