I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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