Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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