im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
