last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
