there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
