Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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