We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
