K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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