happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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