just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
