just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
