don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
